I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance lately and what it has meant to me on my weight loss journey, which really has been my journey to know myself without judgment.
Usually, we think of acceptance in a conditional way, a transactional way.
I’ll accept myself when…
I’ll appreciate myself when…
I’ll be worthy when…
True acceptance is the opposite line of thinking.
Genuine acceptance is the presence of unconditional love and support for ourselves as we are in this very moment.
True acceptance is an act of loving honesty, whereas conditional acceptance is the denial and rejection of who we are. When we reject our current selves in the hope that one day we will be “better” and more “worthy”, we are most certainly guaranteeing that we will not evolve toward our potential.
I know from personal experience that withholding support from myself because I didn’t “deserve” it because, in my mind, I’d made such colossal mistakes, only leading to more harm and recrimination.
I found acceptance to be a powerful agent of change in my life. One day, as the culmination of several moments of clarity over the previous months, I said to myself, “”I accept you, as is. I support you. You don’t have to do anything differently if you don’t want to.”
AND…
Within that acceptance, I noted that there were things I didn’t like, things I wanted to be different FOR ME, not against me. I wanted healthier relationships with food and eating, ones in which I didn’t obsess and worry over. I wanted relationships that nourished me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I wanted to take weight off of my body so that I could move more easily, with less pain and inflammation. I wanted peace and calm that I didn’t currently have with my current mindset, emotional state, and behaviors. And yes, I wanted to look “better” and to fit into clothes in a way that felt good to me. But none of that meant that I didn’t accept myself as is, in the moment, with honesty, clarity, and compassion.
From that place of acceptance, I was able to make changes that served me well. I experimented with foods, dishes, intermittent fasting, nutritional support shakes, and so on, to find what works for me. I’m still experimenting. I’m still messing up on a continuous basis. I just don’t make it mean anything about me as a person. I’m still worthy.
A final note: acceptance is often seen as resignation. I give up, I’ll never change.
That’s not acceptance. That’s self-defeat.
The golden ticket: Acceptance of what is while working toward the next iteration of myself with support, discipline, love, humor, compassion, and curiosity.