Thank god for data!

Thank god for data!

I have been struggling with my eating and weight for the past several months. I haven’t been managing my mind around what I’m eating, when, how much, and so on. And while Covid is a convenient excuse, that’s all it is. An excuse. I have been unwilling to examine my thoughts and be present with challenging emotions. Period.

In the midst of this turmoil, I’ve been reminiscing about the early days of my weight loss journey. How glorious it was. Effortless. How I was in the flow. I was a daily inspiration to myself and others. I was positive, upbeat, fierce in my determination, motivated all of the time. It was easy.

It had to be, right? I lost a lot of weight in a fairly short period of time. 

For direction, to get back on track, I revisited my daily, weekly, and monthly food journals from the early months of my journey. These journals are where I recorded what I planned to eat and what I actually ate, my thought downloads, journaling, and daily self-coaching.  They also include how much water I drank, how much sleep I got, details about my exercise. You get the picture.

Can I just say… Oh My God! 

Page after page of mistakes. Foods planned and not eaten. Foods unplanned and eaten. Binged, even. journal entries about my self doubt, how I wasn’t doing it correctly. My shame. My guilt. Anxiety in spades. 

I put my journals aside and laughed. Loudly. Heartily. Shaking my head.

Life is always 50-50. There was no perfect implementation. Ever.

Sometimes I feel great. Motivated. Inspired, Determined. 

And sometimes I feel defeated. Like a failure. 

Both then and now.

That’s why I don’t quit. 

That’s why this weight loss journey has been different. 

I have successfully lost weight because I have been CONSISTENT.

When I began this weight loss journey at beginning of 2019, I made a commitment to show up for myself no matter what. I was determined to figure things out, to keep moving forward, even when it felt impossible to do so. 

The willingness to keep showing up, to honor my commitment to myself, and to be as consistent as I can possibly be HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. 

So, onward and upward with knowing myself better each day, having my own back, and reaching a goal weight that I choose.